It was an Honor

Here is a little poem, to honor our second adoption opportunity. This was a whirlwind because the baby arrived three weeks early, the very day we traveled interstate to meet the potential birth parents for the first time...... to decide together if we were a match.

Today we arrived home after it became clear that an adoption plan was not "in the works"......

It was an Honor

It was an honor baby girl
To meet you your first hour
To have your bundled warmth
Pressed against my chest

It was an honor baby girl
To hold your little head
To know the boney pieces
Were not yet fully set

It was an honor baby girl
To give you your first feed
To watch you start to suck
Not knowing when to breathe

It was an honor baby girl
To rub against your tiny feet
To try and keep you sucking
Until the bottle was more spent

It was an honor baby girl
To have my arms complain
To move you to my knees
Bundled twice your tiny frame

It was an honor baby girl

It was an honor sweet Jayden Addison

It was an honor

Grief and Relief

With great sadness, we farewelled Mom (MIL) after she lost her courageous fight with cancer.

Thankfully, yesterday we were all able to say our goodbyes while she was still with us. I was able to tell her that I had a very special job for her to do, to find our Twinkle Toes.

Of course, we had wanted to find Twinkle Toes ourselves, and present her with her grand-baby. Life has a habit of humbling us mere mortals and reminding us that we don't always get to write the script.

We are now left with a strange cocktail of grief and relief. She is no longer suffering. She is finally at rest..... except, of course, for looking for Twinkle Toes.

And so it will be, that when Twinkle Toes arrives, we will know that she is close to us.

Time to Walk Away

This is a single post to summarise our first adoption opportunity which, unfortunately, did not have a successful outcome for us.

Viviana was from Colombia, married to an American, and living in Panama with their two-year-old daughter. The birth father was also from Colombia. Certainly an unusual situation for a domestic adoption. We spent 3 weeks with them and their family in AL, and we all got along really well. Unfortunately, the judge in AL refused our petition to reimburse all their expenses. This was a known deal-breaker with her husband from the start.

To make a long story short, we packed up and left AL with empty arms, and they traveled to UT where the rules are different. The baby was born 4 days after we left AL.

The most difficult part about all of this is our time-sensitive desire to present Mom (MIL) with a grand-baby. We went straight to MO to see her in the hospital. This visit was quite painful for all of us. Her "Positives" were still listed on the wall with #5 referring to the new baby joining the family soon. Of course, we all said that is was still true, but the timing different.

We still believe that private adoption is the right path for us. And, when I was going to bed for the last time in the hotel room, a ladybug was crawling on my pillow (we use the ladybug as a symbol for adoption). Like the one pictured, it's spots were not clear. I took this as a sign that our adoption journey was still very much a work-in-progress.

The Gift of Hope

I just received the most beautiful gift!

A HOPE braclet with Twinkle Toes on it, and a ladybird/ladybug (a symbol we use for adoption), and birthstones from my MILs birthday because I am hoping for her full recovery too.

Oh what happy tears I cried, and how I know I am loved. This precious gift represents all the love shown, all the care given, all the ((((HUGs)))) exchanged, and all the HOPE shared through my online communities.

All this beauty distilled and captured through the creativity and thoughtfulness of someone who I have very much come to call "Christy Dear".

More Aussie Cousins for Twinkle Toes

This is a great shot of David (left) and John (right) playing table tennis at Gran's house in NSW, Australia. They are the two sons of Lara's sister Nerida.

Nerida has retired from being a midwife and pediatric nurse to support husband Peter in their two businesses: Battery World, and Cart Mart.

Gran was a Table Tennis champion back in her day at Sydney University and each family member has had their hand on a bat from time to time.

This is NOT Twinkle Toes, but a very Cute Model

Life is full of joy and sadness. Part of being a family, is keeping the hope candle burning through the darkest hours.

Grandma has been very sick. She has spent months in the hospital since last December battling cancer and a miriad of opportunistic infections. To raise her spirits, Twinkle Toes sent this onsie to the hospital with a card asking Grandma to "Hang in there" because "I'm on my way to you................"

Dennis and Lara desperately searched the packing for the return address, but to no avail ; )

Getting Ready for Twinkle Toes

We have purchased the basics so if Twinkle Toes surprises us sometime soon we have what we need to be safe and comfortable.

Aunt Anita at an Orphanage in India

These are small photos for such a big adventure. Aunt Anita traveled to India and Pakistan on a ministry trip. While in India she visited an orphanage and wondered why there are so many children without parents, and so many couples wanting to be parents, and so much red tape separating the two.

Gran's Big Suprises

A big tree fell on Gran's house at 2:30am during a big storm. This was the start of a

tough week that also included her own mother having a bad fall.

So it was a very pleasant surprise when Gran received a Dedicated Service Award from Newcastle Police Citizens' Youth Club, where she has been a Table Tennis coach and general volunteer for 10 years. Up until that day she had no idea such awards existed. Apart from the certificate and the pin to clip on her shirt, she also received a pink rosebud and fern. She said, "It cheers me up to watch my rosebud unfurl, as the weather here is still pretty gloomy".

[Of course the seasons in Australia are "opposite" to the seasons in the US, with winter being in the middle of the year.]

Warnambool's Little Ladies

Cousins Emily and Willow are busy fixing their Daddy's car. They are the littlest of Aunt Katie and Uncle Chris' clan.




Their big sister Simone, enjoys a different view of the world.







Also in Warnambool, VIC are Grandfather Jim and his lovely Rosie, Grandmother Trish, and Aunt Georgina with her fabulous three.

The Queenslanders

Many still wonder why we call Queenslanders' "Banana Benders". I can assure you, this part of the family has better things to do with their time than actually attempt to bend bananas.

Lara's big sister Anita (when she is not in India, Pakistan or Africa), helps her husband Nils run the Hope Valley Retreat including a Droughtmaster Cattle Stud, goats, chickens and ducks. Nils is American, a retired nurse from Florida, and they are testament to one of the earliest internet romances.

Anita's son Paul is completing a traineeship as a linesman with Telstra (telecom). Daughter Amy is studying a Bachlor of Applied Science Major Equine (horses) / Business Management.

Hiking with Llamas. Everybody does Right?

Dennis and Lara needed to drive to Pittsburg for the funeral of one of Dennis' closest college friends. Obviously it was a difficult time.

To try and make some sense of it all, Lara thought that "getting back to nature" on the way home may provide some respite, so she organised a night in PA in a B&B that was a rescue center for Llamas.

Not sure we would do this again, but it certainly made for an interesting day and a much needed break from routine.

It's all about the Food

Here is Dennis salting the paella, under the supervision of Paco. Dennis credits Paco with some of his passion for good food.

Paco and his wife Dominique have since adopted three children; Carolina and Nicolas from Guatamala, and Laura from Colombia.

An Extended Family for Twinkle Toes

A goodly number of the exchange students that became part of Dennis' family through YFU (Youth for Understanding) also traveled in from all over the globe for the wedding. They all call Dennis' parents "Mom and Dad", and there is no doubt in this crowd that family extends well beyond a biological link (from the left):
* Dad: aka Grandpa

* Mom: aka Grandma

* Uncle Felix: German living in the UK

* Aunt Carolina: Venezualen living in Spain. She met Matti (Finn - not pictured here) at this wedding. They married a year later and their little one is due any minute

* Aunt Anja: Felix' wife

* Aunt Beth: Australian of Greek hertiage (married to Uncle Ilias - lying on the ground taking the photo) and living in Germany

* Aunt Heika: German

* Aunt Heidi: Dane

* Uncle Sandro: The only one with a legit Swiss bank account ; )

A Couple of Great Uncles for Twinkle Toes (Dennis' Brothers)

Uncle Jeff is singing and Uncle Dave is playing the double bass at the wedding: "For You" (John Denver).

Mommy & Daddy on their Wedding Day: October 15, 2005

Dennis and Lara were married in St Louis, MO. Lara's father, brother, nephew and niece traveled from Australia to attend.

Cousins for Twinkle Toes: Max & Ruby

Lara's nephew and niece Max and Ruby assisted at the wedding by lighting the Unity Candle. They were born in New York, spent their elementary school years in San Fransisco, then moved to Australia a few years before the wedding.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm: The Grandfathers

Of course this should NOT be published, but how can we hide away such a great shot of the Grandfathers, the night before the wedding. They have only known each other a few hours, but that was all it took for Aussie Grandfather Jim (left) to explain to Grandpa Charles (right) the way in which all the world's problems could be solved.
It was evident that if we put their two world views together, we would have most of the political spectrum covered ; )